A short post today, because I want to go and be in the sun while there is still sun to be had. Preferably with some stone fruit or a mango. Summer fruit is still a massive novelty, since we haven’t actually entered summer yet. And my wonderful foundling balcony couch is a most excellent place to eat a mango. Or drink a beer. Or nap in the sun. The couch and I have not been acquainted all that long, but our casual friendship is quickly blossoming into something more serious. Why are there no rom-coms telling the story of the love between a girl and her beautiful, eccentric, reproduction-something-or-other type sofa?
Alas, girl cannot live on couch alone. She needs to work and buy groceries and do all of those other things that keep her supplied with mangoes. And with all of these things comes a certain amount of stress. I’ve always had some… issues when it comes to anxiety. I am an anxious person. In some ways I loathe writing that, because seriously, who wants to be the high strung, neurotic character of the story? And there’s a lot more to me than that. I am actually really easygoing. I have an atrocious sense of humour. I love to go on the occasional bender with friends. I have insatiable wanderlust. But I’m also anxious. And it’s been acting up lately, for whatever reason. I’m still deciding whether or not it’s gotten to the point where seeking help is probably a good idea, but it’s increasingly looking as if this might be the case. So it goes. I’m a grown-up and I’ll do what I have to do to look after myself.
But I digress. The thing about anxiety is that sometimes, when you’re feeling anxious, it is much easier to stay where you are and keep doing the thing you’re doing – anything at all – than it is to get up and go about your day (which can feel near impossible). And when you’re me, sometimes there is a stack of origami paper nearby. So you make paper cranes. So many cranes.
Excuse the scuffed-up old coffee table. (do you still call it a coffee table when nobody in your apartment drinks the stuff?) But seriously. 142 cranes last count. I just went into the lounge and counted. I learned how to make paper cranes when I was in primary school and we read about Sadako (no, not the girl from Ring – do some reading, people). Perhaps if I keep going to one thousand I can wish for less anxiety. Or at least a steady supply of mangoes.
But for now, at least I have some more colour for my room. Which makes me nearly as happy as couch-bound mango consumption. Happy almost-summer-time, bloggy people!